Fatherhood, a Century of Change, No. 49
The changing role of fathers as
parents has brought dramatic differences to the family unit with a century.
During the difficult war years and great depression men kept their emotions
hidden in order to portray certain strengths of character and calm. They were
told that men don’t cry even though they had witnesses many horrors and
heartaches – their role as head of the household was to be invincible and
ever-strong in front of their families. This restrictive rhetoric led many to
self-imposed emotional prisons, where escapism often led to substance abuse.
This created an invisible wall that partially separated families from really
knowing each other at a deeper level. The pressures of fatherhood were
demanding as many struggled to find the steady work needed to support large
families. People had a standard role of what they should be doing in society whether
they liked it or not, though change evolved and some broke through the stereotypes.
The more prosperous 1950’s had a firm
structure, though fathers could relax a little. Images of perfect families and
fathers playing with their children graced magazine covers, though this wasn’t
the case for everyone. Fathers were still restricted from birthing suite or
were convinced that this was not their place. The connection between babies and
fathers were limited until children were old enough to communicate fully, babies
often remained the domain of woman. As women began to enter the workforce, ideas
of the standard family changed forever. This was often an era of children being
seen, but not heard, until some children rebelled against these sentiments.
The later years of the twentieth century,
especially the radically different 60’s and 70’s gave fathers a natural freedom
of expression. This era of freedom had its downside and many children were born
outside the family unit, leading to a multitude of forced adoptions, shaming
for young adults, and alternative futures for children. Men with families could
now speak with their emotional voices without ridicule, as judgement lessened.
Men loved their children, but now they could show it. The handshake as an
emotional bond between father and son slowly gave way to the embrace. Fathers
could march and demonstrate their true beliefs at public forums, building on
the way they thought family life should be. Deep meaningful conversations were
part of daily life and the bond between father and child was flourishing out
loud.
By the twenty first century the
father’s role in the household had been dismantled and rebuilt anew, thanks to the
work of previous generations of men and women. Situations had changed; mothers or fathers could
stay home and look after their children while the other parent worked – the
family unit altered dramatically compared to previous centuries. The softer
emotionally intelligent father emerged with a new openness. Tough love
scenarios dwindled as gentler approaches to childhood developed. Fathers could
speak to their children and value their opinion. The father now becomes,
teacher and nurturer from day one, considering the child’s best interest within
the family. With love on show he can be straightforward, comical or subtle when
speaking with his children. He gives love; he receives love, he is helpful –
that is the true spirit of fatherhood.
Sharon D Bush
Writer
Historian Artisan Sage
Instagram: THESAGE00 or SACRED_LIVING
Email: the.sage.sb@gmail.com
Book:
The Scrolls of Wisdom,
philosophical/spiritual self-help book finished (on the final edit – looking
for publishers).
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